How many of you are doing something work-wise that is connected to who you really are? That is the dream, right? But the reality for many of us involves hiding or at least camouflaging our big nature, our connected, intuitive selves, and settling for a narrower version for our public face. Our many sides come out, piece by piece, as we navigate the ‘real world’ of this 3-D life we live, the one with the cars to maintain, the meals to make and the social gatherings of business friends and polite birthday parties and such.
“Let me introduce my friend”, said a friend of several years, a 3-D friend of my ‘other life’ recently at such a gathering. “She is a great cook! And a handy person to have around when you have a problem or something up with your health”. Okay. I suppose so – I suppose this is one side of me, the helpful friend to the older buddies who people my life and comfort me when I am feeling in need of companionship and a friendly meal. Not exactly the introduction of my dreams, but okay, I am used to nodding and just being under the radar. As I get a little bolder, or a little bored, though, my true naughty nature comes out, and I become the bad girl at the back of the class. Not exactly my dream me, but okay, I am amusing myself and just being under the radar. Bolder still, and a little naughtier and perhaps feeling like I am ready to leave this party and head for real friends who do know what I do and who I am, my even naughtier nature comes out, and I start to drop hints about the clairvoyance and the intuition, in a way that I find intensely amusing, although I am the only one in on the joke.
So I begin to let the weird stuff out, but not in a way that anyone would notice.
“Yes, you are complicated”, I find myself answering back to a prominent writer at this gathering. A writer whom I have never met but whose energy practically spins me to the other side of the room like a blast of hot air. I can sense her energy field and see it like a ball of tangled yarn, askew and somewhat disconcerting. If you can imagine trying to have a conversation with someone whose glasses are askew, hair standing on end and eyebrows about two inches long, as you pretend not to notice, you will have some idea of what I am confronted with. This person looks perfectly groomed and perfectly normal, you see. But you may understand why my own thoughts become somewhat lighter as I attempt to disengage and move away without actually moving backwards, at least not in a way that is obvious.
When I am alone at such a gathering – meaning when I am there without any of my equally clairvoyant or energy sensing friends – I find myself reeling about from person to person, dodging the energy that I instinctively recoil from. But the sad thing is, I am very sociable and curious and observant, so do not like staying home when there is a party afoot that I am expected at. So off I go, and bounce around, until I have had exactly enough to send me out the door sharpish, which I tend to do. I usually hang around with the food staff by the end of the event, since in my experience folk connected to preparing and handling food tend to be more grounded to the earth than some of the intellectuals in the room. The professors and writers often have lovely interesting things to say about the world but sometimes have more trouble connecting to the heart, which is for me the only thing that matters.
Wishing you abundant heart connections in your lives,