Today marks the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, and so we all are drawn back to those momentous events where the world watched from moment to moment in the backdrop of the newsroom while the lives of thousands of people disintegrated before our eyes. Our eyes – and not just our hearts – encode trauma, our own and others’. Millions of people, including children who watched, were horrified and traumatized that day. I know that as I write today, this will not be a short post. I have a lot to say.
Here from my trauma therapy training is a new definition of horrified: to encode a frozen scene of horror right within our holographic field. Our common use of the word gives indication of what goes on within us, even when we have not been affected directly by such events as those we mark the anniversary of today. When we can trace our sadness and grief to a single event, our methods have a specific way of helping to release the pain through the work in the hologram known as Holographic Memory Resolution in which I am trained. My teacher, Brent Baum, is called in to help when such events take place, from the Oklahoma City Bombing to the Tucson shootings last year.
Most of us, fortunately, are not exposed to such traumatic single events as this. But we have all encoded trauma within ourselves. Every one of us, over the years. Therapists are most aware of this, naturally, because we deal with childhood trauma, whatever the presenting complaint. When something feels wrong in our lives, we know to look to the past.
When you know this, you can do something about it. Trying to forget a painful past does not help. The conclusion? We have all been traumatized. We grew up with enough trauma – due to mis-education, neglect or misguided punishment by our parents – to create slightly damaged goods, as popular culture puts it. We all have traumatic childhoods, no matter how wonderful our parents. It is just so.
Anyone who has seen The Help has had a great example of how that happens, despite the intentioned good by all concerned. The only thing a child truly needs is unconditional love and affirmation from a parent or close caregiver. And it is rare that children get this consistently. Many parents in another generation didn’t know; many now don’t understand the importance of this key point. Parents focus on time and discipline and performance. You didn’t have to live under those exact circumstances in the 1960’s in the south to grow up without the pillars of self-esteem that create healthy relationships and fulfilled lives.
Today especially, we might remember that compassion for each other is all that matters. Where there is fear, add love.
If you want to understand and have compassion for yourself, which is where all healing begins, films like The Help show us how we can have empathy for the tiny Baby Girl, caught up in adult pettiness and primed for a life of grim absence of love, once her loving real mother, her kind and capable nanny, left.
Humans love or harm each other through their tone of voice and intention. The words “You are kind. You are smart. You are important.” are the affirmation of love from caretaker to her young charge, in the presence of neglectful parents.Words of affirmation, encouragement and validation build a bond of love that transcends time and space. When we recognize the power of our words, we become more attentive to what we say, to where we invest our creative energies of speech, and how we use our words.
We all need to tell ourselves every day that we are important, that we are wise, and we are loving. As go our words, to and from each other, and to ourselves as self-talk, so go our thoughts and our creation.
We learn as practitioners of trauma resolution how a voice raised in anger – from a distant and forgotten past – becomes a pain in the heart and ears of a young listener, imprinting itself for years to come and setting up triggers for fear, anxiety and insecurity. Words become energetic objects, or metaphors, in our energy fields, palpable and observable by objective viewers, and not figments of the imagination. The scientific theory of how this happens is through the concept of energy transduction. The energy of words, one form of energy – frequency, pitch and tone of speech – is captured auditorily, interpreted within the brain, and translated into a pain or physical sensation within the body.
Quantum physics and trauma therapy both offer lessons about the power of words, the importance of tone of delivery and of the loving act of listening or observing, with loving eye contact and attentive intention. And yes, like speaking, listening is a profound act of love, just as is looking in the eyes, providing undivided attention and speaking kindly. As humans, we have the power to change others, just by being in proximity. We also have the power to choose to be hurtful or healing, angry or loving.A final word: people sometimes ask about the spiritual part of healing, when they understand the physical and emotional elements. Our Baby Girl will have a new sense of self when her spirit is restored to its original brightness through trauma work. Of course, all this is in my imagination. It’s just a movie. But my subconscious doesn’t know the difference, and so I am waiting for the adult Baby Girls of the world to knock at my door.
I have amazing techniques that help, fabulous ways to release the trauma that we are aware of and the trauma that we are not aware of. So today, take some action for yourself, and find out more about Holographic Memory Resolution, or Zpoint, two methods I use, and start releasing the old stuff. Who knows who you will be without that real and present baggage. Please do visit roads2wellness.com – with a 2, mind – and contact me. Let’s get rid of that stuff, now.